Monday, February 02, 2004
Cease and desist, O ye prophets of doom!
After all the doom and gloom I seem to have been collecting lately, I thought it was time to kick back a little and bring you a few light-hearted items.
I can almost guarantee the Braden files will provide me with my daily dose. This one's purely visual - you'll have to go to the link. As is this. (Warning: you might need your sunglasses.)
My kids latched onto the following, which is one of my favourites:
When I become an Evil Overlord
~ My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
~ My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
~ My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
~ Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
~ The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.
~ When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?" My reply will be, "No, just sensible."
~ When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "Nope" and shoot him.
~ After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
~ I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push".
(See here for the full list)
If you want to explore the outer fringes of Christian humour (but be warned, this stuff is not for the faint-hearted), try the website Ship of Fools. The extremes are definitely being pushed with the section The Ark - billed as the world's first reality game show featuring Biblical characters.
After all the doom and gloom I seem to have been collecting lately, I thought it was time to kick back a little and bring you a few light-hearted items.
I can almost guarantee the Braden files will provide me with my daily dose. This one's purely visual - you'll have to go to the link. As is this. (Warning: you might need your sunglasses.)
My kids latched onto the following, which is one of my favourites:
When I become an Evil Overlord
~ My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
~ My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
~ My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
~ Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
~ The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.
~ When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?" My reply will be, "No, just sensible."
~ When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "Nope" and shoot him.
~ After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
~ I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push".
(See here for the full list)
If you want to explore the outer fringes of Christian humour (but be warned, this stuff is not for the faint-hearted), try the website Ship of Fools. The extremes are definitely being pushed with the section The Ark - billed as the world's first reality game show featuring Biblical characters.
