Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Child-driven parenting produces unhappy misfits
"Child-driven" parenting styles that give even more power to children than the liberal child-centred approach are producing unhappy, anxious children who cannot fit into society, says the Canadian author of a new book, The Pampered Child Syndrome.
"These children expect to be kept happy and stimulated, to be treated equally to adults and to be in charge," says Psychologist Dr Maggie Mamen. "When they run into situations outside the home that challenge these expectations, they have difficulty coping, and may show symptoms of depression, anxiety, hyperactivity or behaviour disorders."
Parents are baffled to find their children are unhappy when they've been given everything they want, says Mamen. That's because giving children everything they want is against the natural order of things, she points out. Unless parents reclaim their own "management" position in the family, kids will grow up unable to successfully manage their own lives.
Dr Mamen blames factors ranging from the anti-authoritarianism of the 1960s to the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (1990) for the child-driven parenting philosophy. To hold out against aggressive marketing, she says, "We need our own values. We need to ask ourselves 'what are the policies and values of our family?'"
"Child-driven" parenting styles that give even more power to children than the liberal child-centred approach are producing unhappy, anxious children who cannot fit into society, says the Canadian author of a new book, The Pampered Child Syndrome.
"These children expect to be kept happy and stimulated, to be treated equally to adults and to be in charge," says Psychologist Dr Maggie Mamen. "When they run into situations outside the home that challenge these expectations, they have difficulty coping, and may show symptoms of depression, anxiety, hyperactivity or behaviour disorders."
Parents are baffled to find their children are unhappy when they've been given everything they want, says Mamen. That's because giving children everything they want is against the natural order of things, she points out. Unless parents reclaim their own "management" position in the family, kids will grow up unable to successfully manage their own lives.
Dr Mamen blames factors ranging from the anti-authoritarianism of the 1960s to the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (1990) for the child-driven parenting philosophy. To hold out against aggressive marketing, she says, "We need our own values. We need to ask ourselves 'what are the policies and values of our family?'"
